Comentariile membrilor:

= Two hearts, one soul, a few mistakes
Iuliana Ungureanu
[19.Nov.03 01:25]
"Everything I'd like to do is lie with you on the ground" doesn't seem too poetic to me. In the last stanza you don't keep the rythm of the poem and your verbs need a bit more attention. A few sugestions:

1."how you felt in love with me" should be "how you fell"
2. "kept me safe into your soul" should be "kept me safe in your soul"
3. "our hearts start beating forever" should be in the past tense because of the past tense of "kept me warm" and "kept you tight" so change it to "our hearts started beating forever"

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= Two hearts, one soul, a few mistakes	Iuliana Ungureanu [19.Nov.03 01:25]
"Everything I'd like to do is lie with you on the ground" doesn't seem too poetic to me. In the last stanza you don't keep the rythm of the poem and your verbs need a bit more attention. A few sugestions: 1."how you felt in love with me" should be "how you fell" 2. "kept me safe into your soul" should be "kept me safe in your soul" 3. "our hearts start beating forever" should be in the past tense because of the past tense of "kept me warm" and "kept you tight" so change it to "our hearts started beating forever"