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+ dome-estic
Veronica Valeanu
[15.Sep.09 20:58]
a powerful text
worn out feelings turned into a restrained speech go well with that domesticity.
i don't know why, i can't associate this with mentally disturbed people, but with old people in an asylum waiting for the death to come faster.
their perception is eroded.also, [employee of the century]emphasizes old age.

th e first 3 lines introduce the atmosphere much too forcefully in my opinion. perhaps you should change them by using a message like a trace that has disappeared and must be searched for. the rest is powerful enough, so there should be a counterweight for the imprint of domesticity.

there are some lines i envy you for!
V.V.

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+ dome-estic	Veronica Valeanu [15.Sep.09 20:58]
a powerful text worn out feelings turned into a restrained speech go well with that domesticity. i don't know why, i can't associate this with mentally disturbed people, but with old people in an asylum waiting for the death to come faster. their perception is eroded.also, [employee of the century]emphasizes old age. th e first 3 lines introduce the atmosphere much too forcefully in my opinion. perhaps you should change them by using a message like a trace that has disappeared and must be searched for. the rest is powerful enough, so there should be a counterweight for the imprint of domesticity. there are some lines i envy you for! V.V.